a rediculous IPv6 deployment that dind't actutally deploy IPv6

[Mark Yarbrough]

Let me see if I can put this whole thing into words.
So I had Charter internet installed at a client location.  I will not mention names due to the ludicrous nature of the story.
The techs are installing wire in the building and getting a modem provisioned for a business office in Reno, NV.  I get a cell phone call from one of the techs.

Tech:  I don't know how to tell you this but I am going to just blurt it out
Me:  What?
Tech:  We can't setup your internet because we are out of IP's
Me:  I am on the 2nd floor let me come down and find you.

I immediately thought this was a joke as the tech was surprisingly educated and was rather funny.  I found him working away.

Me:  Sooo This is just a bad joke?
Tech:  No, sorry it is not.  I had heard a couple of guys talking about this yesterday and they [the NOC staff] were talking about this was going to happen before we were ready for it.  They had mentioned IPv6 but I don't know if that is an option for you.
Me:  What do I need to do?  I need the internet to kinda work.  Do you guys even offer IPv6?
Tech:  I left a number on your desk to call.

I walked to my office not believing that this could be happening.  I mean really Charter is out of IP's?  I think we would have heard about this one.
I dialed the number, and surprisingly had a human on the phone within a minute.

Person on phone:  How can I help you.
Me:  Can I give you a ticket number?
Person on phone:  sure. [keyed in number I gave her].  How can I help you?
Me:  I was told you guys are out of ip addresses.  I just had this installed and I need some IP's
Person on phone:  yes sir that is correct we are out of ip addresses.
Me:  [absolutely dumbfounded] Really?  When were you guys going to let the rest of the world know?
Person on phone:  we have IPv6, we will give you that.
Me:  Really? [briefly excited] you guys have IPv6 yeah that would be great.  [reality sets back in] wait I can't just use IPv6.  The world isn't ready yet.  I can only go to a handful of sites with that, and our mail won't accept that yet.
Person on phone:  Well sir I don't know what to tell you, we are just out of ip addresses.  There are ways to make this work over IPv6.
Me:  Yes and we aren't going to 'test' this on this client.  So what are we going to do.
Person on phone:  What would you like me to do sir.  There just aren't any IP's to give you.
Me:  Then call your techs that are here and tell them to stop.  I can't use what you are suggesting.
Person on phone:  please hold... a long hold.  Ok, sir I have escalated this to a senior representative and someone will be calling you back.
Me:  So what am I supposed to do?
Person on phone:  Someone will call you back sir.  [clearly stating that the conversation was over]

I then called a Charter sales engineer whos number I had (I am not sure I was supposed to have it).  Left a voice mail that was something like:

Hey <name>.  Listen I am at <address> and I was just informed that you guys don't have any addresses.  That is so awesome I can't find the words.  However I was offered a IPv6 subnet in lew of my IPv4 subnet.  That won't work <name>.  I need you to call me back.  BTW if you really have IPv6 I would love to get it.  Give me a call.

Disgusted I left the Charter boys working away and went to pick up my daughter from school.  I get a cell phone call.

NOC Guy:  Hi mark this is <noc guy> and I was asked to give you a call.  What is going on? [like he didn't know]
Me:  I was told you guys don't have any more addresses.  
NOC Guy:  That is correct we don't have any more addresses available in your area.
Me:  Really?  That wasn't what everyone has been telling me.
NOC Guy:  No, we just need to move some around and you are asking for a lot.
Me:  Really a /28 is a lot of addresses?
NOC Guy:  no you have a /27 and we don't that many contiguous addresses in that area.
Me:  I really just signed a contract that included a /28.  That is actually more than I need, but I need more than a /29.
NOC Guy:  No, your order says a /27.
Me:  I know the contract I signed  it was for a /28 [getting annoyed at this point]
NOC Guy:  [plays with his keyboard] yeah, you only signed for a /28.  Anyway we got the /27 moved over and someone will be calling you back to provision it.  Can I give you your addresses now?
Me:  I only need a /28 and please email me @ [gave him my email address]... Also do you guys do DNS redirect for businesses as well as your residential?
NOC Guy:  Charter doesn't do any DNS redirection, I can't imagine why we would do that.
Me:  That is great.  I am happy to hear you guys don't do that anymore.  It was super annoying.  
NOC Guy:  Thank you and I will email that info to you.

The world is starting to make sense again, and I am still just baffled that they could think that they are going to give IPv6 all by itself.  I am excited to know that Charter is offering IPv6 (albeit according to engineers that I spoke to last week they were 2 years out).

The phone rings

Modem provision guy:  This is <name> with charter business.  I am going to provision your IP's for your modem.  Can I give you the information? 
Me:  Please just email it to me.
Modem provision guy:  No problem.  I will get this done immediately.

All is well that ends well.

The phone rings

NOC Guy:  Hi Mark this is <name> from Charter again.  I just wanted to follow up with you on the DNS redirection.
Me:  Yes?  [about to head desk]
NOC Guy:  I checked on the DNS redirection and yes we do DNS redirection.  However you can opt-out with a link at the bottom of the page.
Me:  You know that businesses aren't residential customers.  Nevermind.  I have around 100 computers are you suggesting that I load a page on every profile on every computer and opt-out?
NOC Guy:  Yes sir.
Me:  I have an idea, I won't use your DNS services [I don't know that this guy deserved the attitude that I gave him, as he was just a messenger and could have easily just ignored the fact that I didn't like something and not called back]
NOC Guy:  You know sir, you aren't required to use our DNS services. [you would think I killed his dog]
Me:  I am aware that I don't have to use your DNS.  Thank you *click

Sigh what a day.  My phone dings with an email.  My heart sunk 255.255.255.224.  

The phone rings

It is the sales engineer.  He is going to love this story.  I tell him the whole story.
Sales engineer:  Really?  You have had a hell of a day.
Me:  Yeah.  What is even better is I can't get anyone to talk to be about shrinking my subnet.
Sales engineer:  I don't think we can.
Me:  No wonder you guys and the rest of the world is running out of IP's.  This is the problem
Sales engineer:  I know Mark but there are so many layers that we can't easily make simple changes like that.
Me:  Unbelievable.  Anyway, let me know if you can find a way to pull some of these IP's back into distribution.  What about the IPv6 can I get a block?
Sales engineer:  We aren't doing IPv6 yet.  We still won't have it fully deployed in our core until the end of this year, and after testing it won't be ready until end of 2012.
Me:  Good thing I said that IPv6 solo wouldn't work for me eh?
Sales engineer:  We have some big companies that won't use us at all because we can't provide IPv6.
Me:  I do support for Roller Network, I know about them you have others?
Sales engineer:  yes, one other [he wasn't telling me who].

We said our goodbyes and I called Seth at Roller Network.  Guess what happened to me today...

I just wanted to share this absolutely ridiculous story.

Anyone else had this kind of ridiculous crap happen to them revolving around IPv6?